My Gracious Host
Updated: Sep 15
From our first moments alone
I think I photographed her the most
Such a beauty, I could overlook the fleas
escape them on the balcony for coffee, tea, and a read
She knew when I was cocky
She saw me get cleaned
just to return hours later all sweaty with sore knees
She saw me have airplane dreams
and wake up tingly, the fleas
had me constantly inspecting the sheets
Dressed to leave
came back at dark all dizzy, needing to pee
Under 21 but over 18
We'd cook veggies that were nearly free
in all sorts of curry
Listen to Alex G
because it was comfy
Sorting thoughts of the people I'd seen
I told them I saw the whole city
but they never quite made it up, Emma or Auby
She taught me to be neighborly
I didn't have my own laundry machines
The cheapest cleaners were actually green
Back and forth
to Uni
the beach
music scenes
the street
I'd like to ask her how many times I left with anxiety
and came back serene
I spent a weekend in the bush, remotely
on March 13th
The only nights I'd slept bed-free
Next week I had to leave
just like those recurring airplane dreams
I definitely screamed
Consoled on the phone by extended family
I remember when seeing just one person with a mask was freaky
No time to tidy
I drank with friends at the CBD
It was oddly empty for a Friday, the 19th
Walked back to the valley
sat under this one tree I fancied
Gathered my things
with impromptu company
Took this last selfie
Got no sleep
Maybe the words I release
will free me internally
from being this sappy
about how I traded in months, three
with the one who knew that me,
the "Alanna overseas"
flat 9B
Aro Valley
Wellington, N. Z. . .
But I completely see
there were bigger fish to fry in 2020
than a woe-is-me about having to leave
Like re-defining community
lives to grieve
planting of seeds
and innovations to seek
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